After

aka the 'katy gets married' fic

-1-

Adam helps Kris pull off his tie as soon as they enter the room; he knows it’s been bothering him all day. Kris is lost in his own world, doesn’t react at all when Adam decides to take off his jacket too while he’s at it. He finally seems to wake up when Adam pulls away to get rid of his own jacket, and turns around by degrees to stare blankly at the hideous hotel wallpaper surrounding them.

“Come on,” Adam says, pulling him by the hand, towards the bed. Kris goes along meekly.

It’s not that there’s no pang of jealousy—there have been pangs aplenty all day—but Adam knows that this isn’t the time. He can be a jealous bitch all he wants once they’re home and he has his own friends around to make sympathetic noises at his plight. Right now, it’s time to take care of Kris. Forget what—or whom—he’s hurting over, Adam tells himself; just focus on the hurt, and make that better.

“You wanna shower?” he asks, wrapping Kris up in his arms and nuzzling into the back of his neck, the familiar smell of Kris’ shampoo and sweat filling his nostrils.

Kris shakes his head.

Adam waits a beat before asking, “You wanna go out and get drunk?”

“No.”

“You, um.” Adam clears his throat. “You want me to leave you alone?”

Kris turns around in his arms and searches his eyes for—something. Adam sure hopes he finds it there.

“I don’t have anything I want to forget.”

Adam nods. He’s understanding. He’s easy. He’s the best boyfriend in the history of ever. “Okay.”

“What Katy and I had was over a long time ago.”

“I know,” Adam says, running a hand through Kris’ hair soothingly.

“I’m glad she’s happy.”

“I know that.” Adam isn’t sure if he knows that a hundred percent, but this certainly isn’t the time to air those thoughts.

“I don’t think you do,” Kris says, pulling back slightly. Apparently, Adam’s not as good an actor as he’s always thought he was. “I don’t have any regrets,” Kris says, looking into his eyes and enunciating every word.

“Okay.” Adam swallows hard. That’s good to know. Because seeing your boyfriend staring for hours at his ex-wife—who is unnaturally beautiful and shining in a wedding dress—can make you doubt some things you thought you were done doubting long ago.

“Even if it hadn’t been completely over between us—I still would have chosen you. And it would have been the right choice.”

Adam smiles, feeling a little sheepish that he still needs to hear that after all this time. Kris doesn’t seem to mind; he just runs his fingers over Adam’s stretched lips, tracing the lines and exploring the curves slowly—reverently.

“Seeing her today, I remembered our wedding day, and—it’s a bittersweet memory now, you know?” He looks up at Adam, all wide, earnest eyes, and Adam nods. He can understand that. The first time he saw Brad with Eric, he felt that way himself. “But I didn’t want to be up there with her.” The look in Kris’ eyes turns expectant, but Adam can’t bring himself to nod this time, because part of him is wondering, why not?

“I want to be here,” Kris says, pressing his face into Adam’s neck—like, right there, that’s the spot he wants to be at. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

Adam’s arms tighten around him—kind of convulsively, but he can’t help it—and he says hoarsely, “That’s good, because I don’t want you to be anywhere else.”

Kris smiles wide; Adam feels the shape of it expanding against his skin. “Glad we agree on that.”

They stay right where they are for a long time.

  

-2-

“I’d like to do that one day,” Kris mumbles into Adam’s forearm. It’s classic sleepy-Kris, starting a conversation right in the middle and expecting Adam to follow. Surprisingly, Adam can keep up with most of Kris’ sleepy talk these days; not so surprisingly, he has no idea what Kris is talking about right now.

“Do what?”

“You know—get married.”

They’ve been shamelessly cuddling all night—after the day they’ve had, Adam figures they both deserve it—and right now, the way they’re pressed together, he’s pretty sure Kris can feel every muscle that clenches in his body. And there’s a lot of clenching going on.

“With, like—each other?”

Kris chuckles softly, and then bites Adam’s arm.

Okay, so it was a stupid question, but Adam’s brain can’t quite make sense of how they got to this topic. He was worrying over Kris wanting Katy back just a couple of hours ago, and now he’s being proposed to?

“Are you asking me to marry you? After—I mean, today of all days?”

Kris turns around in his arms. They’re too close, faces touching—Kris’ forehead brushing Adam’s cheek—but Kris doesn’t pull back. Maybe because he likes the way it feels, warm and safe, or maybe because he doesn’t want to look Adam in the eyes; both are equally possible.

“I’m not asking… today. I’m just saying one day I might ask. Just—you know. Giving you a heads up.”

Adam cups the back of Kris’ head and drops a firm kiss on his temple. “Duly noted.”

He delves his fingers into the mess of Kris’ hair, and Kris melts into him right on cue, sighing—happy, comfortable, content—and tucks his face into the crook of Adam’s neck. He reminds Adam of this kitten he and Neil had when they were kids. Not that he would ever tell Kris that—it was a girl kitten, for one thing, and her name was Glitter-berry—but he almost expects Kris to purr.

Adam pulls the sheets up to cocoon them and trap the warmth in. “I will say yes,” he casually informs Kris. “Just. You know. Giving you a heads up.”

Kris’ heart flutters where they’re pressed together—as if there’s a tiny bird stuck between them. Adam smiles and wonders whether that means they just got engaged.

   

The Alternate Ending

“We could do that, too, you know,” Adam says, trying to sound casual. Like Kris doesn’t know when Adam is being fake-casual. Please. He can tell from a mile away.

“Do what?”

“You know—the whole wedding thing.”

They’ve been shamelessly cuddling all night—after the day they’ve had, Kris figures they both deserve it—and right now, the way they’re pressed together, Kris can feel every muscle that clenches in Adam’s body. There’s a lot of clenching going on.

“It’s a stupid idea, right?” Adam says nervously when Kris doesn’t answer. “I mean, you’ve been married before, and I never really wanted to, so what’s the point, right? We don’t need that kind of—”

“Shut up for a second,” Kris says, turning around to shut Adam up the most effective way he knows how. Adam’s mouth tastes nervous. Don’t ask Kris to explain it; he just knows it when he tastes it. “Do you want to get married?”

“Maybe?”

The look on Adam’s face reminds Kris of the earlier days in their relationship; tentative and unsure and ready to backpedal.

“Why?”

Adam shrugs. “You know. Lots of reasons. Because, why not, mostly.” Then the uncomfortable expression clears from his face and his eyes turn wicked. “Besides, it’s kinky.”

“Kinky?” Kris has to scoot back a little and study Adam’s face for that one. “Getting married is kinky?”

Adam seems to be having fun with the thought. “Think about it. Someone’s officially telling me to fuck you every night from now on, and all our friends and family are celebrating the fact that we’re fucking, and I think maybe we can get away with a blowjob instead of the first kiss, although someone would need to get your parents out of there before—”

Kris throws a pillow at Adam’s face; he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to hear the rest. “It’s not about fucking, you ass,” he says, laughing.

“You mean not everything in life is about sex? Lies!”

Adam grabs him by the ass and pulls him close, intertwining their legs. Kris rests his head on Adam’s bare chest and waits until they’ve both stopped snickering. “We could do that,” he says when they’ve calmed enough to have an adult conversation again. “I mean, if you wanted—”

Adam grins; he looks gleeful. “Then maybe I’ll ask you one day. Preferably on a day when we haven’t watched one of our exes get married and look fabulous doing it.”

Kris grins back at him. “Will you get down on one knee? I think I’d kind of like that.”

“Oh, you know I never mind getting on my knees for you.”

Kris feels all blood rush to his face—and other regions down south. He squirms uncomfortably. Adam, of course, notices.

“You know what?” he says in a dangerously low voice, running a hand down—down, down—until he’s tugging at Kris’ underwear and working his hand inside. “Maybe I should practice. So I’m ready when it’s time.”

Kris bites his lip and practices his answer.

The End

February 2nd, 2010