Stained in You

aka the werewolf porn

Kris notices two things before he even considers opening his eyes: he's outside and he's naked.

'Not again,' he thinks, groaning inwardly. This is the third time in so many months he's waking up like this, and yes, he knows what it looks like, but dammit, it can't be what it looks like!

...can it?

His whole body aches in a way that's becoming familiar. His limbs feel like they've been taken apart and put back together. Muscle, bone, skin; all his and all accounted for, but they don't quite fit like they did yesterday. He rolls his shoulder back a bit and the joint creaks loudly in protest. Kris sighs. This is not how he wanted to start his weekend.

It's dawn; he knows because that's when he always wakes up from these... things. There's no sunlight nudging his eyelids open, but he can tell that it's almost light out. Three days hardly makes him an expert, but he could swear that he recognizes the smell of dawn now, the bitter, cruel cold of it. It's a sneaky and ruthless time of day that frankly, Kris never wants to be awake for.

But once a month, he unfortunately is.

Kris knows how this goes by now. He'll be in the woods, not too far from home but still a good walking distance. He won't find his clothes, and he'll have scratches all over his body - nothing a bit of antiseptic can't take care of, but they'll burn and itch in the unforgiving cold, driving him nuts all the way home. When he gets there, the living room window will be open. No one will see him go in, and he'll have to lie about the exhaustion when he finally does encounter people.

'You can do this,' he tells himself. It shouldn't be as bad as the times before - not exactly a surprise this time now, is it? He should just open his eyes and get this over with. Get walking, get home. Get into bed.

With half a moan at the thought of his bed, Kris opens his eyes... only to meet a pair of very blue, very curious eyes boring into his, attached to a naked man - a very, very naked man - lying right next to him.

"Oh," Kris says.

This is different.

~

"Um. Hello," Kris says, not sure how this conversation should start. Or how it should continue for that matter, but the start would be the logical place to - um... start.

The other man doesn't seem that big on words, but then again, his face is plenty expressive without them. Kris can see the curiosity in his eyes plain and clear - the dog-like tilt of his head certainly doesn't hurt - and the more they stare at each other, the more Kris finds himself reading his companion's unvoiced emotions. It's disquieting how he doesn't even have to try.

There's a touch of fear in his eyes, and tiredness, and surprise. But they're all being pushed down by an inexplicable giddiness and excitement. Anticipation. The man is figuring something out. Something... good? There's a growing sense of wonder about him, so it must be. The corner of his mouth twitches, as if he wants to smile but is too busy to spare the time, and he blinks slowly, sweeping eyelashes creating shadows on his cheeks.

Kris shivers. He feels weird. Like the man's emotions are seeping into him. It's uncomfortable to say the least.

"I'm Kris," he says, clearing his throat and stealthily moving back a bit. They're not touching, but as irrational as it is, Kris can feel the man's gaze on his skin.

The other guy's lips spread wide in a smile, white teeth gleaming through the gap. "Kris," he says slowly, tasting the name. His voice is deep and husky.

Kris shivers again.

"Yes," he says, nodding jerkily. "And you are?"

The man's smile turns fond, and he nods, as if saying of course you are Kris. Kris gulps nervously and tries to look away. There's something very strange happening here and he should go, he should run - except, he really doesn't feel like he can. He feels like he needs to be here. Whatever the hell that means.

"I'm Adam," the other man says. "Kris."

It's annoying, the way he keeps repeating Kris' name - and with that tone, too. Like it's his new hobby or something.

The whole thing is very bizarre and creepy.

Kris sits up. It's way past time to go. His ass is numb from the cold, and whoever this guy is, he's making Kris very, very uncomfortable. Like, way past we're naked together uncomfortable and right into serial killer territory.

"I should go. This is--" He shakes his head. "I don't know what the hell this is."

Adam sits up - or more like slinks up, which really shouldn't be possible - and says, "Don't you?"

Kris is about to retort in some brilliant way, but then Adam's hand comes up, wide palm cupping Kris' cheek before Kris can think to react and pull back, and Kris feels a sledgehammer smack him right in the brain.

Images, scents, feelings, memories - all flood into his brain in a rush, impossible to separate, knocking the breath right out of his lungs and leaving his heart in a panic, skipping beats in its haste. Kris mentally flails at the onslaught, trying to slow it down, and after what feels like an eternity, it does. That's when Kris sees himself and Adam... doing things.

"Did we have sex?" Kris squeaks out. His ass answers the question with a deep twinge. "Oh, God."

Kris tries to shake Adam's hand off, pushing himself backwards, clumsily trying - and failing - to get up. Adam is saying something, reaching forward, but Kris can't - he can't, he just... can't.

Not only is he a werewolf, but he's also a gay one? This is just too much. Too much to take, too much to handle, and no, there is no way Kris is going to smile and go with it. No way, no how. Kris is going to get out of here. And he's going to forget this ever happened. And then - oh, God. And then he's going to get tested, because who knows where this guy has been?

"Kris, Kris, stop. Stop panicking."

Kris shakes Adam's hands off, taking a hurried step back.

"You stop panicking!" he says senselessly. "I'm naked in the middle of the frickin' forest with some guy I don't even know - and it's cold - and - " He looks around wildly, searching for clothes he knows are not there. "I need my goddamn clothes."

"Clothes?" Adam says, perking up. "I can help with that. I've got my bag stashed in a cave...." He looks around, eyes narrowed, and finally points west. "That way."

"In a cave," Kris says. It's not a question, because, well, why not a cave? Maybe that's what all ...people like them do. Hide their stuff in caves. Kris obviously didn't get the manual to this thing, so what the hell does he know?

"Yeah." Adam nods. He starts to put a hand on Kris' arm to steer him but Kris flinches away from it. "Right," Adam says, looking a bit chastised. "It's not far. Come on."

~

Adam doesn't have a tail, but if he did, Kris is pretty sure it would be dragging behind him unhappily right now.

Not that Kris is looking at where Adam's tail would be, oh no.

He's a stranger, Kris has to remind himself again and again. Kris doesn't owe him anything. Granted, Kris has never been this rude to anyone after a one-night stand before, but his partners before Adam had all been completely human and female, and Kris had had perfect recollection of the previous night when he woke up. Waking up without his memories next to a big, intimidating guy, who Kris knows is a werewolf does not make him want to cuddle.

Adam can give him those hurt looks all he wants. Kris isn't going to cave. Adam is not a stray puppy, and Kris is definitely not taking him home. And there's no point in getting attached when they'll be going their separate ways as soon as Kris puts some pants on anyway.

"Here," Adam says, parting the thick shrubbery and gesturing for Kris to pass through. Kris hesitates, he's been doing so well staying behind Adam the whole way, but then thinks to hell with it and steps forward with a shrug. Surely Adam has already seen everything there is to see.

The cave is cozy. Definitely not as scary as Kris had been expecting. It's much warmer, and the sight of Adam's bags in the corner brings tears to Kris' eyes. Adam picks through them, taking out and discarding clothes, and when he stands back up with an armful of clothing for Kris, he looks hopeful, as if he's expecting a pat on the back.

All Kris has for him is a tight smile.

The clothes are clean, though they smell sort of earthy, like maybe they've been stored in caves or dusty places. They're a bit - okay, a lot - big on him, but Kris has never thought he'd be so happy to wear another man's underwear before, so the size is the least of his worries. He folds up the cuffs, secures the jeans with a belt, and puts on the ridiculous flip-flops Adam handed him apologetically.

"Right," he says when he's done. "I'll just be off then."

"Kris, wait!" Adam says, panic clear in his voice.

Kris turns around stiffly. He doesn't want to do this. He just wants to go home. "Yeah?"

"Look, I know... I know how confused you must be, and that's normal right now, I completely understand, but I... I'm not just... I mean, you and I, we..."

"Werewolves," Kris says. It's the first time he's said it out loud. He's bit surprised that he doesn't feel any different now that he's acknowledged it.

"Yes, but..." Adam takes a tentative step closer. "More than that. We are... I've been looking for you. For three months now, I've been searching."

"Um." Kris doesn't like where this is going. Random werewolf hook-up? He could probably handle that. Werewolf stalker? Now that's a bit too much to take at ass o'clock in the morning. "Okay, you know what, you should find someone else to stalk, because I'm not interested. I don't remember what happened last night, and I don't want to, to be honest. Let's just... forget it ever happened, okay?"

Adam lets out a breath, shoulders hunched in defeat. "You don't remember? At all?"

Kris shakes his head.

Adam rubs his eyes, looking exhausted all of a sudden.

"I'll just be going then," Kris says, taking a couple of steps backwards towards the mouth of the cave. He feels better the further away he gets from Adam; it gets noticeably easier to breathe. It's going to be okay, he keeps repeating himself. He's been through worse. Sex with a crazy stalker werewolf is nothing compared to his first transformation. He just needs to get home. "Nice meeting you," he says, manners overtaking his fear, and turns to leave.

It's a moment, just one tiny moment, between his turning away from Adam and Adam pouncing on him, but Kris somehow manages to find the time to feel uneasy about leaving his back exposed. His gut feeling turns out to be right, as it often is, because Adam looks feral as he presses Kris into the wall with his whole body; Kris doesn't even have the space to wiggle. Adam's hands are like steel bands on Kris' arms, no give at all, and Kris feels fear and adrenaline flood his system at the thought of being completely helpless - they're in a cave in the middle of the forest; no one will even hear him.

"You have to know," Adam says, his breath hitting Kris' cheek. "You have to know. I found you. Tell me you know."

Kris forces down the panic rising up in his chest, squeezing his heart. "I don't," he says. He doesn't know. He doesn't get it. And he doesn't want to know. He just wants to leave...

But it doesn't look like Adam's going to just let him leave.

He sniffs Kris' neck, dragging his nose up along it, and makes a desperate keening sound. "I know how hard it's been," he whispers, pulling back to look Kris in the eye. "How scared you were, what you've been through. I know. But I found you. It will be better now."

Adam's tone is soothing, almost hypnotizing, but he still radiates desperation, and it's making Kris very anxious. He's not some naïve kid; he's not going to fall for this Stockholm Syndrome thing. He tries to break free, tests if he can move his legs, but Adam's hold is tighter than ever.

"Let me go," Kris says, trying to sound threatening. Adam doesn't look at all threatened. He shakes his head, giving Kris a betrayed look. "Adam," Kris says, "let me go."

The name is apparently the magic word, because Adam's hands loosen just a bit, and he makes a sound like a wounded animal, only less with the actual hurt and more on the petulant side.

"Adam," Kris says again to test his hypothesis, and Adam whines right on cue. "I want to go," Kris says. "I don't want you to touch me."

Adam shudders at that last one and his hands drop, his body the only thing now between Kris and daylight. They stay like that for a moment, chest to chest, both breathing heavy, and just as Kris is about to try sidestepping the other man, Adam's head falls forward on Kris' shoulder, his nose nudging Kris' head to the side.

"What...?"

Kris is paralyzed, with fear and excitement and expectation, and when Adam opens his mouth and lets his teeth graze the already abused skin of Kris' neck, he feels something break open inside him. His body arches, taut like a bow, and a tiny voice says, let him bite. Kris knows how that would feel, and his body aches for it suddenly, craves it. The little voice is chanting now, let him bite, let him bite, let him bite, and Kris wants to, he needs to, he has to--

With a sharp cry, Kris breaks free, pushes Adam back, and stumbles a couple of steps away.

"No," he says, his voice hoarse. "No."

Adam opens his mouth to say something, but Kris has had enough of that.

"I said no! Stay the hell away from me."

With that he turns and runs.

~

Kris is going crazy.

It's been twelve days since he woke up buck naked in the woods for the third damn time and he hasn't been able to get one good night's sleep since then. It's the dreams, assaulting his subconscious every time he closes his eyes, and they just won't stop. He doesn't always remember them afterwards, but the bits that do stick in his mind are enough to keep him out of sorts while he's awake as well.

Adam, standing outside his house all night, every night, isn't helping.

Kris had tried talking to him, he'd tried threatening, bribing, ignoring; nothing seems to work. Adam is stubborn as a mule - or a wolf, Kris supposes - and he won't budge from his place no matter what Kris says or does. One thing he doesn't seem to be is dangerous - he just stands there like a statue, he doesn't do anything - so by all means, Kris should just leave him to his standing, but the Stockholm Syndrome voodoo Adam's put on him seems to be in full effect, because Kris feels kind of awful about letting him stand out there in the cold all night. After all, insane or not, the man is obsessed with Kris, and Kris can tell that he's miserable because of it.

"I'm waiting," he'd said when Kris asked him what the hell he thought he was doing. "I can wait. As long as it takes." Then something had seemed to occur to him. "Don't--" he'd said, licking his lips nervously. "Just. Don't send me away."

Kris doesn't even know how he would accomplish that. If he knew, he would totally be considering it. But anyway, it's not in his nature to be cruel. Adam doesn't need any more rejections at this point. In fact, what he needs is probably a doctor. If it wasn't for his little 'fur and claws' problem, Kris would definitely call one.

Kris has no idea how he ended up in this situation.

"Not a stray," he mumbles to himself as he peeks through the curtains in the bedroom. Adam is in his usual place, eyes closed, face turned up. Kris checks the clock; it's almost 3 AM. He has to be at work in four hours, and he sincerely doubts he'll be able to go back to sleep.

The dreams are probably a side effect of knowing Adam's out there; it doesn't take a psychologist to figure that out. And Kris' memory is still unreliable when it comes to that night, so his brain is taking those buried memories and turning them into... well... into porn basically. A really intense, 3D, full HD porn playing in Kris' head every night. Which is making him wake up drenched in sweat and... other bodily fluids.

Kris doesn't turn on any lights as he goes downstairs to the kitchen to get a drink. He doesn't like the thought of Adam being able to follow his every move. He stands around for a minute, drinking his water and wondering what he should do, but decides to go back to bed in the end. He should try and fall asleep again. The bags under his eyes are starting to scare away the customers.

~

There are hands - no, claws holding him down, but Kris isn't struggling. Instead he's arching his back for more contact, making a growling sound of want in his chest. It burns, everything burns, and nothing's enough. He needs more. More touch and more force and more... more of him. The one who makes him feel like he belongs in this skin.

He thrusts into Kris with no warning, but Kris is so overwhelmed by everything that he can't even feel the pain.

He only feels the burn. Inside. Everywhere. All over him. His skin, and his belly, and his heart, and his chest. And then he bites Kris, hard, drawing blood, taking, claiming, and Kris lets go.

~

Kris wakes up with a gasp, sheets fisted in his hands.

The clock reads 3:35 AM.

He doesn't try to go back to sleep again.

~

Kris is grumpy the next morning. He's grumpy because he's tired, and he's tired because he can't sleep, and he can't sleep because Adam's fucking with his head.

He looks around to see if Adam's still there; he really feels like giving him a piece of his mind this morning, but as always, it seems Adam has left with the first light.

Damn coward, hiding in the dark, doing his voodoo or whatever the hell it is on Kris.

Fuming and barely awake, Kris walks to work.

~

Day fifteen is a bad day. Not that the rest haven't been bad, but this one definitely takes the cake.

Kris has to cover for not one but two other people at work because there's a flu outbreak, and then he has to stay and close the diner, because the only other reliable employee available is Allison and there's no way Kris is letting a sixteen-year-old stay out that late - no matter how much she pouts.

He can work full days on his feet, it's not that big a deal, but his head is killing him these days; it's numb and blurry at best and screaming in rage at worst, and even though today isn't in the screaming category, it's not nice and blurry either. It's... sloshy. Which is not a nice feeling and is definitely worrying.

He checks the kitchen first, makes sure the cook left everything in order. The register's already taken care of, so he just packs the money and locks it in the safe. Then he goes back out front and starts mopping the floors. He's so out of it, he keeps forgetting which parts he's done and has to go back and do them again and again. When he's finally done, his feet and his head combine efforts to make him sit in a booth and put his feet up. He won't make it home like this. He doesn't have a car and there are no buses at this hour. He puts his head down on the table and wonders if he can sleep there. It would be uncomfortable, sure, but maybe when he's away from home, away from Adam, he'll be able to actually stay asleep for longer than a couple of hours.

It's not a conscious decision, but by the time he hears the knock on the door, he's already well on his way to a delicious nap.

"Wha--"

At first he thinks he dreamt the sound, but as soon as he puts his head down, there it is again. Kris groans and gets up. It's probably some drunk, looking for coffee. He walks over to the door, dragging his feet, and then stops in his tracks when he's close enough to see through the glass. There's not much light outside, just a street light on the corner, but apparently Kris doesn't need much light to recognize Adam. His heart picks up - though God knows why, it's not like he's actually afraid of Adam anymore. He doesn't think he ever was. He is irritated though. How many times is this now that Adam's interrupting his sleep?

"What?" he asks opening the door. "What do you want?"

Adam fidgets, taken aback by the force of Kris' greeting. "You didn't come home. I was worried."

Kris snorts. "You're my stalker, not my babysitter."

"You know that's not true," Adam says, tone disapproving.

It makes Kris laugh, but there's no real humor in it. "So you're not the guy who stands outside my house every night like a creep?"

"That's not - I don't - " Adam shakes his head. He looks insulted. This would be completely hilarious if it weren't so damn annoying. "You don't want me inside," Adam says finally.

"Well, duh," Kris says, and then sighs. He's too tired to argue semantics with a crazy person. "Just go," he says, making a shooing motion. "Take the night off. I'm going to stay here tonight."

Adam looks worried. "What? Why?" He looks inside, curious, but deduces correctly that it's empty save for the two of them.

"Because I'm too tired to walk back? Because I can't sleep at home so why the hell not?"

Adam nods, looking around. "I'll just..." He motions toward the parking lot. "I'll stay," he says, "keep watch. You sleep."

Kris can't contain the incredulous laughter. This is why he can't bring himself to be scared of Adam. He's not ruining Kris' life intentionally. He's an inherently good man... just a bit on the delusional side.

"What?" Adam asks, nervous. He's always so nervous when he talks to Kris. Kris can almost smell it on him.

"Adam. I can't sleep when you're outside. Just - give me one night, please."

Adam is shaking his head vehemently. "No, no, no, no. You're wrong."

Kris takes a deep breath to calm himself. Of course he's wrong and the insane werewolf knows all.

"You're not letting yourself feel it, Kris," Adam pleads. "Just stop fighting it and you'll see."

"Feel what?" Kris bites out, throwing his hands up. "All I feel is tired!" Which is a lie. Kris feels a lot of things, a lot of confusing things that he doesn't particularly want to share with Adam right now. But the exhaustion is undeniable, and that much Adam should know so maybe he'll leave Kris alone for one goddamn night.

"You're hurting yourself," Adam says, reaching out and running one fingertip down the side of Kris' face. "You're hurting us both. Please. Let me help."

Kris finds himself leaning forward, following the warmth of Adam's finger. This split personality thing he gets whenever he's close to Adam is getting tiresome, and with the exhaustion seeping down to his bones it's turning downright lethal.

Adam grips Kris' arms, holding him steady, because apparently Kris can't stand on his own anymore, but much to Kris' surprise, he doesn't pull Kris closer. He looks torn, not sure what to do. Kris can't be much help there. He has no clue what he wants; one minute he wants Adam gone, the next, he wants to snuggle in and close his eyes.

"I need to sleep," Kris says, almost begging.

"Okay," Adam replies, pulling him against his chest. "Okay, Kris. You sleep now."

Kris nods off into blissful darkness.

~

Kris wakes up in his own bed.

He opens his eyes, and for the first time since the full moon, there's no throbbing behind them, no half-memories lurking in the shadows, no panic, no suppressed lust. He feels peaceful. He feels renewed. He feels rested.

And something smells delicious.

He stretches his legs, luxuriating in the moment, but when he tries to stretch his arms, he realizes one of them is trapped. Under Adam.

Kris stares. It's the first time he's seeing Adam with his guard down. Even that first morning, when Adam had looked so giddy, he'd been slightly wary, always on his toes. But in sleep, he looks completely unthreatening - and so impossibly familiar. It's like Kris has woken up to this face his whole life.

"Adam," Kris says, trying to pull his arm free. "Adam, I need my hand."

Adam mumbles in his sleep but looks like he's just going to turn over and go back to it, so Kris tugs more forcefully. With Adam over the covers and Kris under them, it turns into a bit of a tangle, and when Kris finally successfully dislodges his hand, he finds himself propelled backwards, almost falling off the bed.

But Adam has wolf reflexes or something; he catches Kris before he has a chance to tumble down.

They freeze like that, with Adam's hands gripping Kris' t-shirt, and they stare at each other, at a stalemate. Adam is clearly waiting to be chased off with a rolled up newspaper, but Kris doesn't particularly feel like chasing him away right now, because he's just figured out the source of the delicious smell, and since Kris' life needs to be so damn complicated all the time, it's Adam.

Adam sits up, runs a self-conscious hand through his wild hair. "I didn't mean to presume," he says, gesturing to where he was sleeping, over the covers.

Kris finds himself wholly unworried. He actually feels - blissful. Which is very certainly not normal. "Am I high?" he asks, suspicious. Adam wouldn't give him anything, would he?

"Oh," Adam says, inspecting Kris' eyes. "In a manner of speaking."

Kris waits for the anger to come, the suspicion, but they don't; he feels so good. It's that scent, he's sure of it. It slithers inside Kris, making its way through his veins, brushing up against his heart, lighting up his brain like a Christmas tree. "And what manner is that?" he asks, wondering if the lights show in his eyes. That would be so cool.

Adam smiles at him, soft and shy. "It happens when you're reunited with your mate after a long time apart. Or so I've been told." He shrugs. "Should wear off on its own."

"...mate," Kris says, skeptical.

Adam's smile dims considerably. "Yeah," he says. "Mate."

Taking in the serious stance, the tone of voice, the look in his eyes, Kris thinks twice about willfully misunderstanding Adam's meaning. "There's no such thing," he says instead. Because obviously, everyone knows that.

"No?" Adam counters. "Like werewolves?"

Kris gives Adam a long, considering look. Well, at least he tries to. It's hard to stay still for a long period of time when your blood is tickling you from the inside. "So you picked me as your mate?" he asks, trying to connect the dots. "You claimed me," he says, one hand tracing the faded bruise on his neck. "Why? Why me? I was minding my own business, why would you..."

"That's not how it works," Adam says, his hand covering Kris' on the bruise. "You don't pick your mate; you find them. I felt it when you were turned. I looked for you."

"And you found me," Kris says, thinking back to the uncomfortable morning after of the night he doesn't remember. He shakes his head. "But I didn't feel it. Why only you..."

"But you did," Adam says, a desperate tinge to his tone. "You must have. You're just confused. You're a new wolf, you're feeling too much already." He scoots closer just a bit, as if approaching a scared animal. "I can help," Adam says. "I can help you sort through them."

"Huh," Kris says. That sounds kind of like bullshit to him. He can sort through his own feelings thank you very much. But he doesn't want Adam to leave and take his delicious scent with him, so Kris keeps that opinion to himself. "Maybe we should just - " he says, marveling at his sudden, brilliant idea.

"Just wha - "

Kris should just taste Adam and see what that's all about. It's a fantastic idea. Only - probably not. But Kris has always been an affectionate drunk and what could it hurt, really? They've already had sex. Judging by Kris' dreams, they've had a lot of sex.

Their lips touch and Adam shivers, his hand on Kris' neck falling to rest on Kris' shoulder and doing a little convulsive dance there. He tastes like liquor, intoxicating and sweet; Kris has never been a big fan of alcohol, but he's pretty sure he'd happily OD on this. He moves to delve deeper, taste a little more, but Adam pulls back, drawing an involuntary whine out of Kris.

"Kris," Adam says, cupping Kris' face with his hands and tilting it up to look into his eyes. Kris turns his head and captures one of Adam's fingers with his mouth. "We probably shouldn't be doing this right now. You're not in your right mind."

Kris stops licking Adam's fingertip long enough to say, "Oh, nonononono..."

"No?" Adam asks, breathing hard.

Kris bites the fingertip he's been licking in warning. "You don't get to back out now. You've been waiting for me, right, that's what you said? You want this." He lets himself fall back down on the bed, giggling when he bounces a couple of times. "So come and get it," he says.

Adam pounces.

~

"I am soooo high," Kris says, staring up at the spinning ceiling, one hand buried in Adam's hair.

Adam stops and looks up, worried.

"No, no, no," Kris says, pushing him back down. "I didn't tell you to stop. You keep doing that."

The worried line on Adam's brow doesn't disappear, but he follows Kris' guidance all the same, burying his face back in Kris' abdomen. There's a crackle when his skin makes contact with Kris' - or is that in Kris' head? - and when he licks his way around Kris' navel and then goes down, Kris feels like he's riding a roller-coaster.

"That would be flattering," Adam says, breath puffing against Kris' heated skin, "if you weren't under the influence."

"Under your influence," Kris mumbles, kicking off his pants. He's never been like this in bed. He's never wanted to leave himself to someone else's mercy so completely before. He will be mortified once these happy-making werewolf hormones wear off, but for now, he opts to pull Adam's t-shirt off and grip his shoulders, moving against him until Adam gets it and puts his hands back where they belong - on Kris' skin.

"Stay," he says, as if Kris is a dog. The thought makes Kris giggle. Because he's a wolf, you see? It's funny. And then Adam's mouth is on him again, and Kris gets to watch Adam swallow his cock, and wow, it's so not funny anymore.

Kris' legs try to wrap themselves around Adam's head, and his fingers grip Adam's hair tight, pulling until it must hurt, and Kris watches, moaning and thrashing and whining, as Adam moves up and down, his cheeks flushed and lips glistening with saliva. It doesn't take long, wouldn't have even without the high, and Kris comes with a sharp cry, his body going so tight and arching so high that Kris fears he might actually break.

And then there's a rush of heat passing through his body, leaving him shivering.

And then - there's clarity.

~

The fog has been lifted, and Kris' blood doesn't feel like it's carrying around a million tiny bubbles anymore. In fact, Kris can't feel his blood at all, which is - wow, did his body used to be this quiet?

Kris shivers, hairs on his arms standing up from the cold or the sudden change in his body chemistry or both, and Adam scrambles up to his knees to cover him with a sheet. That's when Kris notices Adam - well, Adam and his own complete lack of self-consciousness in front of him. Adam's skin looks paler, his hair's a little lifeless, and he has bags under his eyes to match Kris'. And he's uncomfortable, sitting on his haunches in nothing but his jeans - his very tight jeans; he stares at Kris like he's expecting a scolding.

Kris wonders for a moment if that's what he should do, but no, no, he doesn't want that. He can feel the connection now. Adam's scent - that heady scent - is not overwhelming him anymore, but Kris knows in his bones that he can pick it up from a mile away. It's complicated and rich - the connection, the scent, the million other clues Kris' brain somehow knows how to read and interpret now - and it's alive; Kris can feel it wriggle and pull.

Adam clears his throat. "I can go now... if you want. This should - you should be okay to sleep now."

Kris sits up, leveling the playing field. "How does it work?" he asks, ignoring Adam's question. "I can feel it now," he explains. "But I don't understand. Why you? Why me? How does it work?"

"I've heard stories," Adam says. "Stupid fairytales about the moon and the first wolves, but... I don't think anyone's, like, done research on this, you know? It is how it is."

"It is how it is," Kris repeats, the human and the wolf struggling inside him. The logical part of him says he didn't choose this, that he's being tricked into it, while his instincts tell him it's right - in a way nothing has ever been before. "No one ever fights it?" he asks, recoiling from the words as he forces them out. It sounds like blasphemy, but Kris is not all wolf, not yet, and he can't just blindly follow his instincts. He needs to know.

The words seem to have a similar effect on Adam, but he maintains his composure. It's fascinating, how much and how deeply Kris can read him. It's also a bit scary, because Kris doesn't know if he wants to know anyone that well - but still... fascinating.

"I've never seen it. They say it drives you crazy."

"Hmm." That's not exactly hard to believe, considering what Kris has gone through these last couple of weeks.

As Kris contemplates the impossibility of ignoring the almost tangible line connecting the two of them, Adam fidgets on the bed until he can't seem to be able to sit still anymore and gets up. He fixes his jeans nervously and looks around for his t-shirt.

"Going somewhere?"

Adam shrugs. "I'll get out of your hair." The t-shirt is nowhere to be seen and that apparently gives Adam the perfect excuse to avoid looking at Kris. "Now you know, so we can just... it doesn't have to be like - all - you know. We can hang out. Once in a while."

Kris rubs his eyes, sighing. They really need to work on their communication skills. "What if I don't want to hang out once in a while?"

Adam stops in his tracks, shoulders tense. "I... I don't..."

"Come here," Kris says, nodding at Adam.

Adam does, looking wary. When he's close enough, Kris grabs his wrist and pulls him down on the bed. Adam catches himself with one hand and sits on the edge. He looks like a fish out of water, like he has no idea what's going on. Kris, on the other hand, knows exactly what's happening for the first time in weeks - maybe months.

"Kris?"

The connection between them works like a highway in Kris' mind, feelings and snatches of thoughts coming and going continuously. There's now order where there used to be uncertainty and chaos. It calms Kris down, and he wants to test it, see what it can do. He wants to explore this - explore them. He's not afraid at all.

Adam is afraid though. Kris doesn't need to use his new telepathic mojo to know that; it's right there in Adam's eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I did this all wrong," Adam says, looking down. "I came on too strong, and I couldn't - "

Kris wonders whether he'll always feel a bit broken inside whenever Adam's sad or if this time is special because Kris has caused it himself. Surely, it shouldn't feel this natural to be so completely in love with someone you don't know. And yet... Adam is the most beautiful person Kris has ever laid eyes on, and in that moment, Kris cares about nothing else but making him smile.

He wants to be assertive and take control, to hold Adam down and kiss him until Adam forgets everything but the two of them, but when he raises his hand to shut Adam up, he finds his fingers trembling. Adam does stop talking at that, but now he looks like he wants to take care of Kris, which, come to think of it, isn't anything new. The man did look for him for three months, just to stand outside his home for the next two weeks.

So instead of taking the lead, "Kiss me," Kris says, watching Adam's eyes grow wide.

Adam opens his mouth and says, "I..."

Rolling his eyes, Kris tugs him down until their lips meet.

~

Adam's hands are everywhere, all over Kris' body, and Kris can't get enough of kissing him. Adam's jeans have already been discarded - they're hanging off a lampshade right now - and with Adam's much larger body covering his, now completely naked, Kris feels on the verge of sensation overload.

"Kris. Kris, please, let me," Adam says, panting wetly against Kris' cheek, and Kris nods yes, even though he has no idea what Adam's asking for. It doesn't matter really, since Adam can have anything he wants as far as Kris is concerned.

What Adam does with his carte blanche is puzzling. He pushes away from Kris - why, why would he do that, Kris doesn't understand - and starts fumbling with the drawer of the nightstand and ends up upending the whole thing. Kris whines and tries to pull him back, but Adam doesn't budge until he's saved Kris' small tube of sunscreen from the wreckage.

"Oh," Kris says, watching Adam hurriedly coat two fingers. Kris is not nervous, not about any of this, but he feels maybe he should be at this point, and perhaps he should tell Adam... "I've never done this before, you know? With - I mean - with a guy. I've never had sex with a guy. Yeah." Then he thinks back to their first meeting and adds, "That I remember, obviously. I mean - there was that night, the full moon, but - aside from that--"

Adam stops and stares at him, and then he leans down to quickly kiss Kris and says, "Good," with feeling, like he's actually glad that Kris has no experience, which makes no sense - until Kris starts thinking about how experienced Adam himself seems to be and suddenly wants to set the whole city on fire.

Possessiveness. That's a new one for him.

Adam smirks - the goddamn bond tattling on Kris - but then settles himself firmly between Kris' legs and says, "No one. Right? Not anymore," making Kris feel equal parts satisfied and mortified.

But then Adam catches his lips with a deep kiss and presses two fingers inside him, and Kris is too far gone to analyze anything.

Thank God.

~

By the time Adam is inside him, Kris has already come three times, which is something he didn't even know he could do without doing permanent damage to himself. He's imagined this many times in the last two weeks - probably daily, because how could he not when the dreams wouldn't stop? - but it never occurred to him that he would actually like the stretch of it, the burn... that he'd want to see--

"Adam. More." His hands slide off Adam's shoulders, slick with sweat, and Kris finds himself grappling, strands of wet hair slipping through his desperate fingers. Adam keeps making soothing noises, his own lips bitten bloody, his body glistening above Kris, freckles calling him to just arch up and bite - which he does, making Adam keen and growl and pound into him harder.

Kris throws his head back and laughs.

"Something funny?"

Not funny ha-ha, no, but funny incredible. Kris loves Adam's eyes; it's ridiculous how much. They're so blue, and so honest when he smiles, and so full of fire and passion right now. And Kris loves Adam's arms; they're strong enough to pick him up, and hold him down, and wrap around him really tight. Kris even loves Adam's hair. It's thick, and black, and just long enough to hold onto.

Kris knows absolutely nothing about Adam, and he already loves all of him.

"This is insane," he says with a laugh, pulling Adam in harder with his legs. "I mean... isn't it insane?"

Adam grins down at him, panting, and shakes his head, drops of sweat rolling off his hair to land on Kris. "It's..." He moans as his hips move faster and faster. "It's... God. Kris."

It's insane. And incredible. Kris lets go of Adam to brace himself with hands wrapped around the rails of the headboard. He shuts his eyes and arches up, fire licking along his spine, and lets Adam fuck him with all he's got. Because yes, there's love, and ridiculously sappy thoughts are filling his head, but this, right now, is wild and raw. It's fucking; simple and primal and unapologetic fucking. And Adam is so damn good at it.

Kris wonders what Adam looks like as a wolf. The memory of the full moon teases the corners of his mind, and he yearns to run his fingers through Adam's coat. It must be thick and luxurious, like Adam's hair, and Adam's scent would be all over it, musky, strong.

Kris is hurting, aching all over, and he wants to sob, cry and let go and ease the tension, but that's not going to be enough; he needs for Adam to finish it off, to make them come before Kris loses whatever's left of his mind. He tries to tell Adam that, but he can't speak from panting, so instead he decides to send the thought through their link, grabbing the idea of the two of them collapsed boneless on the bed, completely satiated, and pushing it through.

Looking up at Adam's tightly shut eyes, for a second Kris thinks it didn't work. But then suddenly Adam's unwavering gaze is on him, eyes bright as if there's an actual fire lit behind them, and Kris finds himself folded in half with Adam pressing over and inside him, leaning down until Kris feels the vibrations of Adam's growl. Kris' heart races as Adam opens his mouth and tilts his head, going for the spot on Kris' neck he had bit that first night.

The ghost of the bruise throbs in greeting.

Kris surrenders.

~

It's dark out when Kris wakes up with a gasp - Again? Still? He wishes he could care, but Adam's arms are around him, his lips are firm on the back of Kris' neck, and he's buried deep inside Kris, sliding in and out slowly, taking his time.

"Does it hurt?" Adam whispers.

Kris shakes his head and moves with him.

"Good," Adam grunts, and fucks him until dawn.

~

There is a real world out there somewhere, Kris reminds himself as he lounges in Adam's arms. In that real world, people don't have sex for days without a break; they go to work instead, and they date - because relationships aren't predetermined.

"Isn't it wrong - that this is all backwards?" he asks, his voice a whisper in the quiet room. "I don't know you," he says, "but I love you."

Adam nuzzles the back of his neck and presses a lingering kiss where it meets the shoulder. "I think it's comforting," he whispers back. "That it's unconditional."

"And what if you don't like me?" It's a hypothetical question, like why are we all here; it's not like Kris is worried or anything... but yeah, okay, so maybe he is worried a little bit. Or a lot.

Adam sends him some warm and fuzzy feelings through their link. He's so much better at using it than Kris, it's not fair. "I don't think that's possible," he says. "You seem very likable."

Kris snorts but melts back into Adam's chest anyway.

"So," he says, after a beat. "Tell me about yourself then. What do you do? Where are you from? Where did you learn to stalk people like that?"

Adam nips at Kris' shoulder playfully. "It's a talent."

Kris is about to comment on Adam's many talents - when something suddenly occurs to him. "Hey, and what's your last name anyway?"

Adam laughs, warm and rich. "Lambert," he says. "I'm Adam Lambert, from San Diego, California, and I'm your mate."

Kris takes Adam's hand in his. "Should've said so," he says and laces their fingers together.

The End

February 26th, 2011